A Bend Marriage Coach Tells You How to Relight Your Fire

By Norene Gonsiewski and Tim Higdon

We don’t always look at the daily routine of married life as the sexiest of times. And as the years go by and you expand your family, the fire you and your spouse had as young lovers may have dwindled to a small flame.

One of the advantages of being an empty nester is that you and your spouse get the chance to focus on your relationship again. Even though you’ve aged, your focus should absolutely include bringing back intimacy and that deeper connection to your marriage. The house is yours again – enjoy it together!

Okay, you’re probably saying. Sound great. But how? We all know there are other factors that may put a halt on that process.

After all, men reach their sexual peak before they’re legally allowed to drink, and women typically reach their sexual peak before they turn 40. Needless to say, science is not exactly on your side.

Addressing a Lack of Sexual Passion

It probably goes without saying that this is often an embarrassing issue for couples to bring up. But if you want things to improve, you have to be open to sharing your feelings and your desires with your partner, and listen to what they have to say as well.

If you and your spouse are not on the same page about reigniting your fire, it may seem impossible to get things going in the bedroom. But open communication will at least let you know what page you’re on.

There are ways to go about relighting your fire without directly scheduling or forcing intimate moments. Getting into activities or interests that bring out the passionate side in either of you will slowly translate into bringing passion back into the bedroom.

Passion Doesn’t Have to Start in the Bedroom

For some people, scheduling times or goals for getting hot and heavy in the bedroom can immediately kill the mood. So don’t do this – or at least don’t limit yourself to it.

To help ease the transition back into the bedroom, find ways to reignite the fire outside of the bedroom first. Consider taking a dance class to get you and your spouse close while learning new moves. Adding some new steps to your dance routine may help you increase your confidence, and more confidence always helps you feel more comfortable in every area of your life.

If dance isn’t quite your or your partner’s thing, find other ways to open up and share something new. Explore something you’ve never done before. Engage in a passion or interest that you’ve always kept hidden. Investing in your partner’s emotions and desires will let them know that you are passionate about deepening your relationship and connection. That sense of comfort and security provides a base for romantic and sexual intimacy.

A Passionate Relationship Is an Intimate Relationship

Reigniting passion is just one element to bringing your relationship back to the way it was when you and your spouse were first married. For a well-rounded approach at how to elevate and enhance your relationship, contact a Bend marriage coach today.