An Oregon Relationship Coach Suggests 5 Resources for Couples in a Rut

December 21, 2016 by

It’s not easy to admit that your marriage is in a rut. We often face a lot of pressure to put on a happy face and pretend that our relationship is always amazing, but the truth is that all couples find themselves stuck at one point or another.

Feeling stuck in a place where you are unable to grow is not a wonderful way to enjoy the beauty of marriage, so it’s important that you find ways out of this rut and move forward together

How can you find new ideas for getting out of a rut?

Have sessions with a relationship coach or counselor. As an experienced Oregon relationship coach, I often work with couples on this very issue. If you’d like specific suggestions based on what’s going on in your relationship, the best thing to do is get in touch and talk about your goals and what you’re looking for.

While you are searching for a relationship coach, consider the philosophies by which they teach. Common studies include Imago, Gottman, positive psychology, and so on. Do some research. Find a philosophy that appeals to you, then look for therapists who will use those tools and knowledge to help your relationship.

There are some other things you can do on your own. Just remember that not every method is going to work for every couple, and getting out of a rut takes time.

Look to Couples You Admire. You know those couples that just seem like they have it all? Well, they’ve been through ruts in their marriage too.

Do not be afraid to confide in a close friend or relative and ask for advice as to how you and your spouse can move forward in your relationship. The advice they give may not be perfect for you and your spouse’s situation (every couple is different), but there is definitely comfort in knowing that everyone experiences ups and downs.

Use Books and Other Resources. There is no shortage of literature out there on pretty much any relationship issue you can imagine – including getting out of a rut. Take a look around. Find relationship experts and authors you admire. Read their blog posts and books they have written. You can even subscribe to newsletters that seem helpful. Check out our award-winning book, Rock Solid Relationship: Seven Keys to Restore Your Connection & Make Your Love Last.

Attend Workshops. Want to combine the in-depth professional training of a relationship coach with the hive mind of other couples that have faced (or are facing) similar issues? Attend relationship workshops. Many relationship coaches and counselors offer workshops throughout the year for couples at different stages in their relationship.

For couples looking to get out of a rut, we recommend the Getting The Love You Want workshop. Using Imago techniques, this workshop can help you and your spouse learn best practices for identifying conflicts and dissolving them, while forging a fun and passionate relationship that lasts the rest of your days.

Turn to Each Other. If you believe you and your spouse are in a rut, do not look for a solution alone. Be open with him or her about your concerns, and look together for a “couple’s answer” to your issues. Plus, you know the saying: two heads (and hearts!) are better than one.