Bend Marriage Counseling: Watching Porn Can Affect Your Relationships

January 8, 2013 by

As the reach and prevalence of the internet has expanded in our lives, I’ve noticed an increasing number of couples coming into my Bend marriage counseling offices to overcome problems in their relationship related to pornography.

Now, obviously, pornography was around long before we had computers but the popularity of the internet has caused an explosion of new pornographic material. It’s easier than ever for people to access pornography—and feel like they’re doing so anonymously. Viewing pornographic pictures and videos may not seem like a very big deal—after all, it’s not like you’re cheating with another person—but studies have shown a number of negative effects associated with it that can harm your marriage and cause you to seek out relationship help.

Bend Marriage Counseling: Negative Effects of Pornography

Some of the negative consequences facing regular pornography viewers include:

  • Neglecting other areas of their lives
  • Increased isolation
  • Loss of interest in sex with partner
  • Distorted beliefs about sexuality and relationships
  • Decreasing sexual satisfaction and emotional closeness
  • Difficulty becoming aroused without pornography
  • Addiction

In addition, partners may feel threatened by their significant other’s pornography usage, see it as infidelity, and worry about children being exposed to inappropriate materials. This can cause pornography users to lie about their habits, which affects the overall level of trust in the relationship.

Even for people not currently in relationships, pornography can be harmful. A 1988 study found that viewing pornographic material caused the subjects to behave more callously to members of the opposite sex, feel that monogamy was less important, doubt the value of marriage, and lessen their desire to have children. What’s more, these effects occurred equally in both men and women.

Bend Marriage Counseling: You Have to Want to Change

This is not to say that pornography is necessarily inherently bad. Some couples have found success jointly bringing it into their relationship. However, if you feel like you need relationship help due to problems caused by pornography usage, the road isn’t going to be easy. It’s important that both of you talk about your feelings related to the issue and be honest about how it’s affecting your relationship

Ultimately, though, the person viewing the pornographic material has to want to change his or her behavior. Like any other addiction, this can be tough, so if you feel like you need Bend marriage counseling, don’t hesitate to call.