Bend Marriage Counselor: 5 Ways to Give Love and Affection at a Distance

If you live far away from your partner, you already know there are many things about a long-distance relationship that are difficult.

When you see couples that live together – or live close by and get to see each other all the time – it’s normal to feel jealous or frustrated with your situation. Especially if you feel like it’s hard to stay connected to your partner from so far away.

Those feelings may not help alleviate the issue, but fortunately, there are things you can do to show your partner how much you love them.

The following tips have helped many couples show love from a distance:


Yes, it sounds simple, but far too often we define “listening” as “waiting for our turn to speak.” Work hard to fight this tendency and really try to be in the moment when your partner is sharing with you.

Show them that they matter to you by paying attention to the everyday comings and goings of their lives. Make sure they know you’re engaged and interested in what they have to say by practicing “active listening” and repeating back parts of what they tell you like so:

Your partner: “I’m having a lot of trouble concentrating at work because Jim, the guy at the desk next to me, is talking so loud on his conference calls.”

You: “Ugh. That’s the worst. I have trouble concentrating around loud people, too.”

Just the act of listening and caring is an act of love, and it’s one that your partner will certainly appreciate.

Share your everyday life.

When you actively listen to your partner’s stories about work, school, and so on, you’ll realize how easy it is to be involved in their life even if you’re far away.

So don’t be afraid to share your everyday life either. Send them a picture of the ice cream you’re eating after class. Or a selfie of you at the gym.

These may sound like silly examples, but when you let your partner into your everyday life, you give them the opportunity to learn more about you and grow closer to you.

Send a care package…or a random bouquet of flowers.

Surprise your partner now and again with a little gift.

You don’t have to send a diamond necklace or break the bank just to show you care. Sending your partner lunch from their favorite fast food place or a small bouquet of flowers shows that you are thinking about them and want to treat them.

Care for yourself.

Giving your partner the task of fulfilling all of your emotional needs is a big, draining job, and it may make your partner feel guilty about living so far away.

Make sure you take the time out to take care of yourself. Eat well. Stay active. Socialize with friends and loved ones.

That way, when you do talk to your partner, you will feel refreshed and happy, and bring lots of joy to your relationship.

Talk to a relationship counselor.

Long distance couples don’t have to navigate the unique complexities of their relationship on their own.

Even if you cannot attend a counseling session together, contact a Bend relationship counselor. Counselors and therapists can host Skype calls or offer resources on how to live and thrive while maintaining a long-distance relationship.