Bend Marriage Counselor: Reasons to Stay Together After an Affair

December 8, 2014 by

Discovering that your spouse has been cheating on you is devastating, and many people’s immediate reaction is either to want to punish their significant other or run away and hide. But a surprisingly high percentage of couples actually end up staying together after an infidelity. How high? 65 percent.

This number may surprise a lot of you, but there are a number of good reasons to keep working on the relationship instead of abandoning it after one partner cheats on the other. Here are some of the major ones:

Post-affair relationships are actually better. Obviously this isn’t true for every single couple, but many of my clients who decide to fix their relationship instead of ending it ultimately tell me that they’re happier with their spouse now than they were before the affair occurred. This is because a big crisis like an affair forces you to get all of the issues you were avoiding out into the open and deal with them. Plus, you’ll learn all kinds of valuable communication tools if you work with a counselor.

Finally, there will be honesty. When someone is having an affair, there can’t help but be a lot of dishonesty. The cheating partner has to keep the infidelity a secret, and victims of cheating often lie to themselves to ignore what’s going on. But this kind of behavior erodes your relationship at least as much as sex with another person. Once the affair is out in the open, all the lying and hiding the truth can go away and you have an opportunity to start over fresh and be completely open.

You’ll have lots of company. Not only do 65 percent of couples stay together after an affair, more than one out of every three couples – all couples – experiences an affair. The reason this is important to know? Because you’ll have plenty of people that you can talk to and who will understand what you’re going through.

Of course, getting through the aftermath of an affair can’t help but be a messy, emotional experience, and most people struggle when they try to do it all on their own. If you’re serious about trying to stay together, work with a professional Bend marriage counselor.  Contact Tim Higdon soon to set-up and appointment.