Bend Marriage Counselor: Research on Happy Marriage

April 6, 2016 by

Bend Marriage Counselor: Research on the Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Everyone wants a happy marriage, and everyone wants to know the secret to a happy marriage. But what if you knew that there wasn’t a secret? What if you knew that you could have a happy marriage based on science?

There isn’t one single thing that will automatically make your marriage happier. Instead, it’s a combination of numerous behaviors and actions that will lead to a happy marriage. And there’s science to back it up!

So here are 5 tested and true “secrets” based on research that can make your marriage a happier one.

  1. React positively to your partner’s good news.

When you tell your partner good news, how do they react? Are they excited with you? Or does your excitement barely register with them? How your partner reacts to good news can influence your relationship satisfaction. If your partner responds positively by asking questions, showing enthusiasm, reliving your excitement, and congratulating you, it can make you feel closer to them. Couples who do this regularly show increased levels of happiness within their relationship.

  1. Happy couples spend more time talking together.

The more time you spend talking with your spouse, the closer you will feel to them. People in the most successful marriages spend at least 5 more hours a week being together and talking than unhappy couples. It’s not enough to simply spend time together – although that’s important, too – you have to actually interact and talk to each other. So, no, watching TV together doesn’t count. Take the time to talk to your spouse and ask them how their day was. Ask them for their thoughts and opinions and what their hopes and wishes are. Get to know your partner more and more every day.

  1. Share new experiences together.

Sharing a new experience with a partner can make couples feel more loving and supportive towards each other. When you try something new together, you’re both going into the experience without any pre-conceived notions. Plus the excitement of trying something new can put the excitement right back into your marriage. Try a new restaurant. Take a cooking class. Explore a new place. Go to a concert or a comedy show. Just do something new and different every now and then, and see how your marriage gets a boost.

  1. The happiest couples laugh together.

Couples who can have fun, share a sense of humor, and laugh together have a leg up on other couples. When you share laughter with someone and can remember all those funny times, you’ll be more satisfied with your marriage. Humor also keeps things in perspective, can diffuse a potential fight or argument, and keeps couples from feeling bored or alone. As Gloria Vanderbilt once said, “That is the best – to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.”

  1. Happy couples make time for intimacy.

There isn’t a magic number for the amount of times you and your partner should have sex and be intimate. You have to do what works best for the two of you together. But it has been proven that couples who have regular sex are more likely to be happier and more satisfied with their partner than couples who don’t have regular sex. So if you want to be in a happy marriage, get intimate with your spouse!

These are just a few of the many research “secrets” of happy marriages. If you and your spouse want to make your marriage the happiest it can be, consider reaching out to a Bend marriage counselor today to have the relationship that you want.