Bend Oregon Marriage Counselor asks: what are your relationship roadblocks?

June 15, 2013 by

Are you thinking you will never find your soul mate? Are you staying single because you don’t want to fail in relationship again? Can’t find someone right for you? Well, you are not alone! These are just a few of the reasons many of us have for feeling “unlucky in love”.  These reasons need not stop you from finding love and learning how to have a successful relationship.

If you are recovering from a divorce or an unsuccessful relationship there are reasons you may be cautious, skeptical or flat-out scared to move forward toward a new relationship. You may think you are “past” your ex, but the emotional part of your brain, the limbic system, can sabotage new opportunities for love. This is more normal than you may know. Here are some examples:

• When you lose a partner you may indeed compare possible suitors and may put your old partner on a pedestal. No one will measure up.

• Or perhaps you are still grieving the death of a partner. As lonely as you are, you won’t let yourself love again for fear of the pain that it could happen again.

• Maybe you fought all the time in your last relationship and you break off any potential partnership at the first sign of a disagreement.

• Maybe you got so hurt when your partner left you that you won’t risk a relationship for fear of being rejected.

• Maybe your partner had an affair and left you and you are afraid to trust again.

When reasons like these stop you from opening yourself up to love someone again the most perfect person could walk right past you and you wouldn’t even know it.

Out of the need to not be alone do you attempt to start a relationship with the next person you meet in the hopes that this will be the one? If so, so you may be having serial relationships. Disaster is right around the corner when you commit so quickly you never give yourself a chance to get to know the person. So, you move on to the next person only to fail again. You may tell yourself you haven’t found the right person. You could win the lottery too! The common denominator in each of these relationships is you.

Bend Oregon Marriage Counselor States: Whatever holds you back, you are wired to be in relationship. Whatever “roadblocks” may be in your way you can get them out of the way and open yourself up to find love and keep it! In just one weekend you can gain the self-awareness and tools you need to become successful in a relationship. Keeping The Love You Find Workshop for Individuals was designed by Harville Hendrix PhD to give you the information and inspiration to find lasting and fulfilling love. Don’t miss this opportunity coming July 20-21 at Three Rivers Center for Relationship. Tim Higdon MS LPC and coauthor of a soon to be released book Rock Solid Relationships—How to have a Safe and Passionate Relationship will be your host.

To register online or contact Tim Higdon.