Bend, Oregon Marriage Counselor talks about the “Art of Gifting” your partner

March 6, 2012 by

Many of us romance our partner with chocolates, cards and fine dining on special occasions like birthdays, anniversary’s and other holidays. While this is wonderful, it can leave our partner feeling as the though the gift is just a “supposed to” rather than something that comes from a true desire to show our love. So, why not bring some excitement back into your relationship by learning a new way to gift one another throughout the year?

Here’s an idea from Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, the originators of Imago Relationship.

Oregon marriage counselor: how to give the perfect gift

Gifting is an art: it requires practice, commitment, and lots of fine-tuning. Remember to gift your partner in ways that will touch his or her heart. Listen to your partner’s hidden wishes and desires and keep your eyes open for clues.

One of the biggest misconceptions in relationships is the belief that, “My partner should know what I want without me having to tell him/her.” In a conscious relationship, partners need to let each other know what touches the heart—either specifically or through what Harville and Helen call “Random Droppings” i.e., hints to your partner (“It would be really great to have the iPad2” or “Would love to see that movie”). Be sure to have fun with the hints—write them in lipstick on the bathroom window or leave post-its throughout your favorite catalogue.

Gifting your partner needn’t cost a lot of money. You can stay within your budget and do activities and small gifts and gestures that show you are thinking of your sweetie. Then notice if this adds a spark to your relationship. Harville and Helen sum it up best:

“And remember, the greatest gift you can give your partner, yourself and your children is the gift of a great relationship!”