Bend Relationship Coach on How to Set Relationship Goals (And Why You Should)

January 13, 2017 by

At first, the idea of having relationship goals may sound strange. Life and love are not always easy to put down in a 2- or 3-step plan.

But there are specific things that we desire in our relationships. Having goals will allow you and your partner to achieve those desires and hold each other accountable for doing so.

You and your partner can discuss what you want your relationship to look like and what areas you want to focus on. This is important for two reasons:

First, you and your spouse will develop a deeper understanding of each other’s perspective, how you view your relationship now, and where you would like it to be over time.

Second, by knowing each other’s goals and hopes, you can support each other and work even harder to achieve them.

What will these goals look like? This depends on you and your partner, but here are some things to consider if you get stuck.

Consider the Roles You Play with Your Partner

You are more than just a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife. You and your partner may be co-parents, roommates, best friends, lovers, and maybe even business partners. Consider these roles and how you want to grow in every area of your relationship.

Consider Your Needs and Your Partner’s Needs

This could be in any area of your life, including emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual. How can your relationship help you fulfill those needs? How does fulfilling those needs benefit your relationship?

Think About Past Issues or Conflicts

Think back to the last big fight you had with your partner? What was it about? Did you think you worked through it well? If a similar issue comes up later, what are your goals for solving the problem and moving on?

Think Realistically

Eliminating all conflicts or arguments is not a realistic goal. Throughout your relationship, you and your partner will face struggling times or arguments. Think specific and realistic while setting your goals.

Rather than ‘have no arguments in the next year,’ set a goal like ‘follow up with each other’s feelings after a conflict.’ That way, you and your partner are setting each other up for success.

Set a Timeline

The best way to make sure you and your partner are achieving your goals is to set a timeline. Choose a date for another conversation. During it, follow up with how you worked to achieve your goals, whether you were successful at achieving them, and how your work may alter or change your goals for the future. This continued effort and checking in will allow you to continue to grow for years to come.

For more ways to create relationship goals and work to achieve them, contact a Bend relationship coach today.