Bend Marriage Counselor Says: Let’s Make It ‘Cool’ To Attend A Marriage Workshop #1

February 10, 2011 by

As a Bend marriage counselor I think it is important to inform my approach to couples work with scientific research. What research tells us is marriage education is more successful in helping couples than couples counseling. That is why I offer marriage workshops.

So what’s the benefit? Well, where do I begin? A 51% divorce rate might be a good place to start. And, of the 49% that manage to stay married, how many are happily married? I don’t know the answer to this but my guess is maybe half. If you do the math that means only one quarter of all marriages are successful and fulfilling. This alone should shed some light on the need for marriage education.  There are many more reasons to consider a marriage workshop or class.

This Bend Marriage Counselor Asks: Where Do We Learn About How
To Have A Successful Marriage?

Most of us learned about marriage by observing our parents. Some of us were fortunate enough to experience our parent’s marriage as, not perfect, but demonstrating a model of how to resolve conflicts. They put consistent and quality time and energy into their relationship, communicated effectively, met each others needs and demonstrated affection.

Others of us weren’t so fortunate. So where then, do we learn to have a successful marriage? Church pastors and programs, pre-marital counseling and seeking advice from family and friends who have successful marriages can all be helpful.

We also learn about marriage from fairy tales and our consumer culture. Cinderella marries her Prince and lives “happily ever after”. What the fairy tales don’t say is how they managed to do that! It’s a common myth that if we are happily married we won’t have disagreements. If we do we must be with the wrong person. But, you can learn to communicate effectively even when you disagree.

As a Bend marriage counselor with thirty years of experience I can tell you most marriages can be saved! You can get relationship advice from this Bend marriage counselor on our Free Resources on this website along with information about Couples  Communication 101 and “Getting The Love You Want” weekend workshop for couples.  Stay tuned for Part 2.