Marriage Counseling Can Help Your Relationship Survive Infidelity

May 25, 2011 by

Marriage counseling is an important step toward keeping your family together if your relationship has experienced an infidelity. The process of gaining forgiveness and rebuilding closeness won’t happen overnight. It can take years to repair your relationship. But, from my experience as an Oregon marriage counselor, I can tell you that it is possible. In fact, you may find your relationship stronger than before.

Know that you’re not alone. And you don’t need to overcome this alone. 25% of couples experience an infidelity, and many get past it. Get help. Talk to supportive friends and family, and seek marriage counseling.

Stop the affair. That may seem obvious, but sometimes a partner goes outside their marriage looking for a connection that has disappeared with their spouse. When things get rough at home once the affair comes to light, you may be tempted to turn to that person for support. You can’t repair your marriage if you don’t break it off completely.

Don’t expect to be forgiven quickly. It won’t be an easy process. Even if you tell your partner that it’s over, you may find that they don’t believe you. They may ask that you be accountable for your whereabouts. They may be short-tempered and distrustful of even small things. You have to let your partner get past this at his or her own pace. You can’t rush the recovery. Be respectful.

Both partners need to take responsibility. Rebuilding the relationship can’t be a one-sided effort. A lack of communication may have been at the root of the affair, so it’s important to work on re-connecting. Both people need to examine their role in the relationship and how they may have contributed to the affair. This is something that can be facilitated in marriage counseling.

Be committed to saving the relationship. And find a counselor who is too. Some believe that infidelity means that a divorce is inevitable, but that isn’t the case. You want to find someone who is on board with you.

If you are dealing with infidelity in your relationship, consider visiting Tim Higdon MS LPC for marriage counseling.